Being a “Child of God” and a “Happy Child of God” in my life has always been two different things. I was “happy” until life hit me hard, and became so physically exhausted to take a breath was difficult. Well life hit hard this year since last March, and I do mean hard. (I will not bore you with all the details, as most of you know them)
Every new year, I begin to read St. Faustina’s Diary and finish it up through Lent. This started off the 1st of January as usual. I came across the sentence, “God blesses the earth for the sake of Jesus.” I cannot explain to you the joy that entered into me, nor the peace I found with that statement!!!
No matter what, I always have to get into God’s way! I never could get “me out of me,” to quote St. Faustina again. That sentence did it!
You see I was on my face before God. I was praying, sobbing, worried about my parents I could not help due to my own illness, and going absolutely nowhere. I hunted for blessings, pleaded for my blessings, and was in complete oblivion as to why I was not getting any. When I read that, I understood, it does not have one “frigging thing” to do with me. As 8 kids said, “It is not about my plans.”
We are blessed totally for the “sake of Christ.” Every single solitary thing God does, is for the “sake of what His Son did.” I do not have to “beg” for anything, I just have to offer Him, His Son. Every morning I say to God, “Lord bless me this day, for the sake of Your Son.” You know I do that of my own free will, not because “I have to.”
I am truly now a “Happy Child of God.” Am I well? “No.” Am I better? “Yes.” You see it does not matter to me anymore, because I have this great Man and Lord, “Jesus.” If that is not enough for me to trust in, then I might as well “hang it up.”
Suffering is hard, yet when we unite them with the “Sufferings of the Cross” they take on a whole new meaning. I begin to understand this was the only way I was going to come out of this septic tank I was in, and totally drowning.
I had to let go of myself and I think I have finally gotten “me out of me, so God can do with me what He will.” I had to let go of every desire, worry, what I felt I needed, and trying to figure out what I could not understand. When I placed Jesus between myself and God, life changed. I realized there is not one single thing I can do to “warrant” a blessing, God does it all, “for His Son.” I truly believe this is what all the Saints, always understood.
See you Wednesday and God Bless, SR