Before I converted to the Catholic Church I really had a struggle with “human emotions.” If I was sad, mad, or sorrowful during sufferings, I was made to feel, very “guilty.” If I was having “human emotions” such as these, I did not have “faith in God.” I was not “rejoicing in God my Saviour.” I did not “trust in God to get me through them.”
I will never forget I went to “Confession.” I had been betrayed in the “worst way,” according to myself. I was “angry,” “hurt,” and I had said some pretty “mean” things to this person. Anyways, I begin to apologize over and over for these “feelings” I was having, and what I had said. My Priest looked at me and said, “Why are you apologizing for “feeling human?” I absolutely did not know what to say! It dawned on me, how ingrained it was in me, that human emotions, on the negative side, were “wrong.”
Through the teachings of the Church on the Seven Sorrows of our Blessed Mother, and the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, I begin to learn, “human emotions” are okay. Eventually, with the help of the Sacraments and teachings I will work through them.
When I learned that Jesus and The Blessed Mother had “human emotions” on the Day of the Cross, a whole other world opened up to me as well. I learned they were not “joyful” or “blissfully happy” on that day. Yet, through every “emotion” and every “suffering” they still carried out God’s perfected plan. It had nothing to do with their “lack of faith” in God. It was about their “response” as to what was happening. (I even learned Mary was “fearful” when she lost Jesus in the Temple)
To be freed, from this “burden” has meant everything to me. For it was truly a “heavy cross” to bear. I walked around in “guilt” all the time. Now I say, “Lord, You know how I feel. Help me through it. I give it to You.”
Then I rejoice because I have a wonderful and understanding God, Who is so ready to help me. Who has given me a Church that demonstrates this very thing in my life.
God Bless, SR